Are you in love? Or are you in responsibility?
Love is surely a feeling. Therefore people fall in love and fall out of love.
When we are in love, the person makes us feel good about ourselves. This feeling is the same feeling when we feel in the psalm of our Creator/ the Divine/ the Infinite Intelligence.
One thing is for sure is when we are happy with ourselves, others can’t help but are drawn by us. They feel we are pleasant and irresistible.
Is ‘loving yourself’ easy? No, it isn’t. Why? It’s because everyone has power. Hurting people have power to hurt people even if they don’t plot to hurt others. Can they benefit from hurting others? I don’t believe it myself. How do I come to this conclusion? I know it from my own experiences. When I don’t think good about others, I feel bad even if they don’t know my thoughts.
Can others hurt us if they don’t like us? It depends whom they are.
1- If they are your lover, you give them your authority to hurt you. If they don’t improve, you can withdraw their power over you until they prove themselves worthy of your presence. (ps: This takes a lot of craft to do it in such a way that inspires their desire to make progress.)
2- If they are your clients or co-workers, they really don’t have much power to hurt you unless you put yourself down first. In such a case, they confirm your doubt that you are not good enough. You might think that they make you feel bad. Indeep, you feel bad about yourself first.
I like how Jesus lifted up his disciples. He knew Peter was going to deny him. Peter could not image himself doing such a terrible thing. However, when the pressure came, Peter’s doubt exceeded – “Is He really a Messiah? I don’t think so. He is in a deep trouble Himself. I made a huge mistake to follow Him.”
Fast forward, after Jesus’ Resurrection, Jesus asked Peter three times if Peter loved Him. Jesus did it to redeem Peter’s three denials. Was Jesus bad mouth Peter? No.
In order to enjoy love, forgiveness is a must. Forgiveness isn’t to ignore bad behaviors. Forgiveness comes with faith – you trust him/her to be better.
I encourage to remember this story. When you are in love, both of you are developing the other’s ability to please you. When you do it right, the relationship flourishes. When you do it wrong, your relationship shrinks.